Bury My Heart
by AberrantMuse
Summary: Some people are just born with tragedy in their blood. If I'm not one of those people, then my name isn't Leah Clearwater...
1. Prologue

**A/N: **_ Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or these characters. All credit for that goes to the author of the Twilight Saga, Stephenie Meyer. I would also like to note that this story is loosely based on two Twitter role play characters - _SheWolf_LeahC_ (myself) and _EmbryCall_YTF_ (my __friend and RP mate), so credit for the character of Embry as potrayed in my story as well as some parts of the story itself goes to my friend, who I am deeply grateful to for having given me permission to use our role play material as a basis for this story. I highly recommend that if you have a Twitter you follow our Leah and Embry for some great cyber role play. Yep, shameless self-promotion there. I have a deep love and appreciation for Leah Clearwater, fictional character as she is, because I can relate to her in too many ways. It is almost as if she is a part of me, so just know that whatever happens to her here, it is all done out of love. I hope I can do her justice with my story. Reviews are always appreciated. Enjoy!_

* * *

I've always believed there are two types of people in the world- those with luck and those without it. The ones with luck are the ones everything works out for. They don't have to work hard, fight, struggle. Things just fall into their laps. Take Bella for example. Isabella Marie Swan Cullen… I've never met a more perfect example of that kind of person. Someone who would throw their life away, throw away their father and mother and all of their friends, throw away the chance to have a family of their own someday, all just for "love"….and somehow get to keep it all anyway.

Momma was right when she said (about a billion times over during my childhood), "Life isn't fair. Deal with it." I get that, probably better than most people, but that is not going to stop me from bitching about it. Because I belong in the second category of people. The unlucky ones. The ones who have to fight for everything and often end up losing anyway. The ones who don't have anything come to them easy. The ones who are just born with tragedy in their blood...

If I'm not one of those people, then my name isn't Leah Clearwater.


	2. Risk

**Two years post- Breaking Dawn**

My foot tapped the floor impatiently to the thudding beat of the bass as my eyes scanned the crowd, trying to find the source of that smell. That _stench._ I tossed back another shot, trying to keep calm and not seem too conspicuous. Not seem like I was _hunting_. Swift glances at the faces of the boys told me they were feeling the same nervous desperation. _Fantastic, just fantastic. _How the hell had a trip to a night club in Seattle for Jared's bachelor party turned into this? I shouldn't have even been here in the first place, considering that bachelor parties are traditionally supposed to be composed of the groom-to-be and his best _guy_ friends. The pleas of "Naw it's ok, Lee, you're an exception to everything else so why not this too?" and "You're pretty much one of the guys, Lee, you might as well come," should have pissed me off enough to make me say no. Guess I was just bored. _Yea, screw tradition._ I inhaled slowly, feeling a tremor run down my spine as the stench got stronger. I quickly scanned the area to see if anyone had moved noticeably closer our way. The only problem was that it was nearly impossible to tell who had been where. The crowded club's occupants seemed to be in constant motion, either milling around with drinks in hand or shaking their bodies to the overpowering beat of the music out on the dance floor. The darkness of the room and the flashing strobe and disco lights didn't help the situation either. I was seriously starting to feel ill. The burning, sickly sweet stench mixed with the smells of perfume and sweat and body odor and alcohol turned my stomach as the lights and music made my head pound. _We have to find this thing...now!_

"So...anything?" Paul's question to Sam and Jacob as they pushed their way back towards us after slowly circling the room made me turn in my seat at the bar to face them, worry creasing my features as they solemnly shook their heads, not failing to notice the tightness in their jaws and necks as they attempted to keep calm as well.

"Somebody's gonna die if we don't do something…maybe several people!" Jared hissed, earning him warning glares from the rest of us. Sam held up a hand to indicate that he should keep his voice down.

"No shit, Sherlock." I spat back at Jared. Jacob laid a hand on my arm, presumably to encourage me to chill out, but it was at that exact moment that a little glimmer caught my eye and made me nearly jump out of my skin with excitement. Reaching over and in turn grabbing Jake's arm, I nodded ever so slightly to a patch on the dance floor not far from us where tiny little glimmers that didn't fit with the pattern of the disco lights were appearing. My eyes instinctively zeroed in on the people nearest that spot, and I had to bite my tongue to keep still and quiet when I found the source of the little glittery spots being reflected on the dark floor.

He was gorgeous in that revolting, alien way that leeches tend to be. Dark hair neatly combed into a flattering hairdo surrounding a pale, perfectly chiseled face. His eyes were a muddy color…had to be contacts. It quickly became apparent why we hadn't spotted him sooner…he was literally surrounded by women, all of them writhing and undulating along with the music, clamoring for his attention. I wanted to vomit when I saw the way he caressed them each in turn, holding their attention by flirting with one, dancing with another, an endless cycle of deadly seduction. _Don't they _see? _Can't they _feel_ that he's a fucking block of ice? Stupid bimbos._ Stupid bimbos that we were bound by duty to protect. That meant taking out this leech before he could lure any of them out of the club with him, drag them into some dank alley and suck the life out of them. But how to do that _here?_ We couldn't phase and attack him right in the middle of the club any more than he could just drain every last one of those girls and drop their corpses in the middle of the dance floor without drawing human attention. The only thing to do was to somehow get it outside somewhere hidden where we could destroy it. _Now…how the fuck to accomplish that?_ Another glance around at the boys' faces and it was obvious they had all followed the direction of my gaze and were now staring at the leech, their faces tense and eyes ablaze.

"Stop. Staring." I hissed as quietly as I possibly could. I was fairly sure that with the deafening noise of the place, our voices lowered, and the distraction the potential meals in short skirts were causing that the bloodsucker wouldn't be able to hear us even with its heightened senses, but we couldn't be sure. And unlikely as it was that this leech knew shapeshifters even existed, much less that that's what we were, it still wasn't in our best interests to call attention to ourselves by openly staring.

"We need to lure that thing out of here and kill it before it makes a meal out of those girls," Sam intoned quietly. Paul, Jared, Jacob, Embry, and Quil nodded in response. Though I always felt better when both packs were out in full force, I was glad the younger boys' ages and respective duties to homework and patrol had kept them back in La Push while the rest of us came out to Seattle to celebrate Jared's impending marriage to Kim. This wasn't like being out in the woods, our natural element, to take out a bloodsucker. This situation was tricky, and I was glad Seth would be nowhere near it.

"Yeah, but _how?_" Embry asked as he leaned forward eagerly, putting a voice to what everyone was thinking. I glanced at the leech cautiously from the corner of my eye and felt my pulse start to pound as he caught my eye, a slow smirk pulling up the corners of his lips. My eyes widened slightly and I held his gaze, resisting the urge to gag when he obscurely winked at me before returning his attention to a busty blonde trying to rub herself on him. I smoothed my hair back self-consciously, glancing at my reflection in a small mirror on the bar. I did look better tonight than I had in a long time, thanks to a little effort to make myself so… I next glanced down at my black skirt that reached mid-thigh and asymmetrical red top, one long sleeve covering my tattooed arm while the other arm and shoulder were left bare. A light bulb went off in my head.

"Bait," I said on a whispery breath, not sure anyone even heard me. I realized I was wrong as six dark heads whipped around to stare at me. My mind raced and heart rate picked up further as I formulated my plan, slowly whispering when I realized I had their full attention. "When you want to _lure_ something…you use bait." I glanced down at myself significantly then back up, seeing their eyes widen as they quickly caught on…all except Quil, who cocked his head to the side and whispered, "What bait?" Embry swiftly smacked him upside the head and jerked his thumb at me.

"No," Sam hissed under his breath, "Absolutely not." I gritted my teeth in frustration, realizing I should have counted on Sam being against it.

"Why not?" I challenged, glaring at Sam through my lashes. I looked over to see Jacob looking between the two of us, shaking his head as he whispered, "Lee, that's far too dangerous…"

"This isn't the time or place for heroics, Leah, or don't you remember what happened the last time you tried that?" Sam asked scathingly, looking pointedly at Jacob. I heard the rest of the boys inhale sharply at that jab, my fists clenching in my lap. Jacob snapped his head up to look at Sam, taking a stop towards him as he muttered, "That was uncalled for, man." I flashed my Alpha a grateful look before turning back to Sam.

"That is NOT what this is about…this is about doing what makes the most sense, what will be the most effective. Hell, it's probably the only thing that will work, and you damn well know it." I growled under my breath. I took a deep breath and continued as Sam shook his head, "Besides…this isn't your decision. If you all don't like the idea and don't want to back me up, then I'll just do it myself and hopefully be able to handle him on my own. Jacob…" I looked pointedly at him, "is the only one who can stop me." Jacob fidgeted uncomfortably, glancing back at the leech then into my pleading eyes. I took advantage of his obvious indecision and added, "Jake, you know we have a responsibility to protect human life, protect those girls…and you know this is the only way to do it." I watched in relief as he nodded slowly and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Ok Lee, let's do this. We've got your back," he whispered as he looked to Embry and Quil for agreement, both of whom nodded vigorously and muttered their assent.

Sam looked furious as he put a hand on Jacob's arm, whispering as he glared at me disapprovingly, "And what about her smell, huh? You think the leech isn't going to notice she smells like dog? Even if it won't recognize why she smells that way, it's still suspicious and will be a turn off….this won't work!"

Jacob quickly shrugged off Sam's arm and looked at me questioningly. I bit my lip and tried to think, realizing Sam had a point. "Well I do have perfume in here…" I said quietly as I picked up my small hand bag from the bar. "That's not enough though…" I muttered as I glanced at the faces of each of the boys, an idea hitting me as my eyes landed on Embry's face. "Emb, come dance with me," I demanded as I pulled my perfume from my clutch and discreetly spritzed it all over my upper body, putting it away and shoving the bag at Quil as I reached out and grabbed Embry's hand.

"Uh, why?" he asked quizzically, not protesting as I pulled him out of his seat and attempted to push past Paul and Jared.

Sam's brow furrowed deeply as he leaned forward, putting himself slightly in our way. "Yeah, why, Leah? What are you doing?"

I sighed in exasperation as I glared up at Sam, "I'm going out there to get his attention, get my heartbeat up and my blood flowing, and give him a possible reason why I might smell kind of funky when he gets close." I almost wanted to laugh myself as I heard snickers resound from Quil, Jared, and Paul, but I was too pissed at Sam to find anything funny at the moment.

My anger only heightened as he shot his hand out and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to him as he whispered low, "Are you trying to get yourself killed, Leah?"

I lifted my chin defiantly, muttering back through clenched teeth, "No, Sam. Don't worry, I'm not _that_ pathetic." I didn't realize how tightly I was squeezing Embry's hand until I pulled us both away from Sam and out towards the dance floor, not failing to catch the smirk that Embry threw in Sam's direction as we went.

"Lose the smirk, Call. We're working here," I muttered into Embry's ear as we slipped into the crowd not far from where the leech danced with his horde of adoring mortals and I pulled us close together, wrapping my arms around his neck as he ran his hands down to my hips.

A chuckle rumbled through his chest as he tilted his head back to look down at me. "Business before pleasure, right babe?" he asked as he pulled me even tighter up against him and began moving us to the beat, his smirk deepening.

I barely resisted smacking him, muttering under my breath as I began rocking my hips against his thigh, "Focus, dammit Embry. We've got a job to do. And if you ever call me 'babe' again, I'm gonna rip you a new one." Ignoring his laugh, I craned my head slightly to get a good look at the leech, shifting my feet to put us more in his line of vision as I noticed his attention was rapt on the same blonde I had noticed earlier. _Got to get him to notice me again._ Shifting us a little closer until we were directly in his line of vision, I wove the fingers of one hand through Embry's hair and grabbed a fistful of his black shirt in the other, writhing against him as he rocked his hips in sync with mine. I didn't dare look over at the rest of the pack, not even wanting to imagine what their expressions might be at the moment, so I turned my gaze the opposite direction and stared directly at the bloodsucker until he lifted his eyes to mine. _Lure him. Do it!_ Holding back my instinctive revulsion, I held the leech's gaze for a moment, slowly biting down on my lower lip and pulling into my mouth before releasing it, swiping my tongue ever so lightly across my upper lip before giving him a seductive smile. _Seductive smile? Do I even know how to do that anymore? _It must have worked because I heard the soft growl that reverberated through his chest, probably unnoticeable to those around him but not to me with my wolf senses. _Wait, maybe not._ I watched in frustration as the blonde began to move herself against him in a near frenzy, not even trying to hide how turned on she obviously was. My fist tightened in Embry's hair with panic as the leech dropped his gaze from me and turned his attention back to the little blonde, turning her around and slowly grinding behind her as he swept her hair away from her neck and put his lips there instead, softly caressing her skin. I wanted to vomit for the hundredth time tonight. "Fuck!" I spat softly, my eyes flickering to Embry's.

"Lee, stay calm. You've got this." Embry whispered close to my ear, his face now serious. "Work with me here...," he said softly as he gripped my hips and turned me around, grinding me into his lap much like the bloodsucker was doing with the blonde. I caught on immediately, moving my hips with his and snaking my upper body as I lifted my hands and ran them through my hair, keeping my gaze locked on the leech as I did so. As soon as he looked my way again, I put one hand behind Embry's head and brought it forward slightly as I tilted my head back and to the side, keeping my hooded eyes gazing into the leech's as I placed my lips to Embry's neck and sucked lightly on his skin.

_This is what I'd like to be doing to you instead… _Somehow I thought that if I made myself think that way, it might somehow translate into my actions. Vibes? Is that what you'd call it? Whatever. I started grinding my hips into Embry's lap a little harder, grabbing one of his hands and squeezing it in the excitement of impending success as the bloodsucker gradually let go of the girl and smirked directly at me, slowly pushing his way through the crowd towards us, his eyes roaming my body. My heart rate picked up as he came closer. Embry could probably feel it thudding right through my back. I realized then that _I_ was feeling something at my back. _Oh, for fuck's sake._ Embry laughed low in my ear as I put the brakes on my movements.

"Focus, babe," he muttered mockingly. I opened my mouth to protest, but he gave my hand a hard squeeze before I could say anything. "I can't help it, and you seriously do just need to focus. You've got him now." I forgot all about Embry's taunting use of the term I hated and his hard on pressing into my back as my attention turned back to the bloodsucker, now closer to us than ever. I forced myself to smirk at him, lifting a brow questioningly. The leech mirrored my smirk and inclined his head towards the far end of the bar, then turned and swiftly made his way there.

I kept up the show, turning back around and pulling Embry's head down to mine, whispering in his ear as I kept an eye on the leech, "This is it. I'll get him to take me into the alley. Don't follow too closely behind us…but don't leave me hangin' either."

Embry nodded slowly, his face deadly serious once more as he pulled back to look at me. "Got it. We'll all be right behind you. Don't wait too long to phase. And for fuck's sake be careful. If you get bit…" I put a finger to his lips, keeping my eye on the leech.

"Not gonna happen. See you on the furry side." I reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek for show, noticing that the bloodsucker was watching us curiously, and pushed him away gently, straightening my skirt. I threw once sidelong glance towards the boys as Embry rejoined them, cringing as they all looked ready to jump out of their skin right then and there. Inhaling deeply, I squared my shoulders and headed towards the bloodsucker at the end of the bar. _Here goes nothing._


	3. Approval

My heart thudded almost as hard as the overpowering bass beat in the club as I strutted over to the end of the bar, stopping mere feet from the leech and putting my hands on my hips, lowering my chin to look at him through my lashes as I quirked a brow. "You wanted me?" I asked in the most low, seductive voice I could manage. If it were possible, my heart rate picked up even more as he flashed me a brilliant smile. I suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. If I were in wolf form, I would have been in my element. I would have been _aching_ to sink my fangs into his throat and tear his granite head off. Right now, I felt weak and breakable. Because, comparatively, I was.

_This was a bad idea. This isn't going to work. You're going to get yourself killed. _I inhaled sharply as it struck me that those thoughts were not entirely my own. Those were Sams's words, Sam's thoughts, Sam's opinions in my head. Still. Engrained there. Sam, Sam, Sam. _What the fuck is wrong with you?_

"Yes…I wanted you. Care for a drink?" The rich, melodic tone of the bloodsucker's voice caught me off guard. He had a heavy accent too, European of some sort, but I couldn't quite place it. I nodded slowly and eased into the seat next to him at the bar. I bit my tongue as he smirked at me, watching my every move.

"Sure…whatever you're having." I intoned with a glance at the empty space on the bar in front of him. _Putting him on the spot much?_ His muddy-brown eyes flickered for a moment before he leaned back, his nostrils twitching slightly. _Shit._

"I have actually had quite enough to drink for the night and would rather not be getting drunk…not right now, anyway," he said smoothly as he smiled at me again. _Liar._ I almost snorted out loud at that, but remembered myself.

"Actually, I really don't want anything right now either. Any drinks, that is," I attempted a smile, shifting in my seat and leaning back on the bar, trying to seem relaxed as I crossed my long legs. I had already had several shots earlier in the night, and while alcohol burned through our systems so fast that it took a shit load to even get us tipsy, I didn't want to take any chances. I needed to be completely alert.

"Alright then," he said with a slow nod, tilting his head slightly as he scooted a little closer to me. "So….what _do _you want?" His smell was almost overpowering as he came closer, and I saw the slight wince he couldn't control as he inhaled. I followed his quick glance towards the other end of the bar where the boys waited, trying not to look like they were watching us.

"Friends of mine," I said softly, trying to pull his gaze away from them and back to me. "Bunch of sweaty, gross guy friends that dragged me out with them tonight." I bit my lip as he returned his gaze to me, seemingly intrigued. I rushed onwards, knowing he could hear my pulse pounding and the scent of my blood even through the animalistic odor. "You know what I want?" I asked, lowering my voice. "I want to get away from them for awhile. I want to get the hell out of here…with a real man." My gag reflex almost took over as I said that, but I managed to control myself. The smile that crept across his face after the words left my mouth should have made me hurl.

"Well then…shall we?" he asked, extending one hand towards me as he rose from his seat. Cringing as I placed my hand lightly in his, I glanced up into his eyes as they roamed my body before boring into mine, noticing the color was becoming more burgundy than brown. _Contacts dissolving._ I'd seen it happen often enough with Bella a couple of years ago when she was still a newborn.

"Mmm…," he practically purred in his throat as he ran his thumb over the top of my hand. I tried not to flinch at the icy feel of it. "You're so….warm," he tilted his head, looking at me quizzically.

"Well, it _is_ pretty hot in here," I countered with a light laugh, taking his hand more tightly in mine. _I can't believe I'm fucking doing this._ This time, _he_ flinched slightly.

"Yes…hot…actually a much better word to describe it than _warm_," his eyes narrowed slightly as the words escaped his lips. He was suspicious. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. _

I tightened my grip further and pulled on his hand, my eyes flickering towards the exit. "I'm well aware that I'm hot," I tossed back with a smirk. "That's why you wanted me, right? So why the hell are we still standing here?"

He chuckled deeply as he took the lead and pulled me towards the door, whispering close to my ear, "Quite the eager one, aren't you?" I saw his nostril twitch again from the corner of my eye. _Shit._

"I…," my words were cut off as he pulled me forward sharply and propelled me through a side door just beyond the bar that led straight into the alley. _Perfect setup, you disgusting monster._ My eyes swiftly scanned the surroundings. It was dark but for the streetlights and the lights of the city glimmering far down the other end of the alley. On this end there was nothing but a dumpster, a low brick wall with barbed wire on top between the club and the building next door that cut off any exit at this end, and the light of the moon overhead. The music from the club was still surprisingly loud out here, just muffled. _Yes, perfect._

_You've got this, Lee._ _I've got this. _ I took a deep breath.

All thoughts were driven from my head as I felt myself being pushed up against the brick wall, the leech's icy form pinning me there as his hands greedily roamed my body. _SICK! Fucking… _ I stiffened, unable to stop the gasp that escaped my lips as he brushed his lips across my throat. _That was too close. FOCUS._

"Are you...alright?" he asked, pulling back slightly with a smile playing about his lips. My heart pounded as I realized he could have bitten me right then. If he had…from what we knew about shapeshifter history and the little that Carlisle had told us about the Children of the Moon, we were fairly certain that vampire venom was poison to us. A death sentence.

I drew in a shaky breath as I stared at him, my instincts screaming at me to phase. _Not yet._ I glanced back at the door for any sign of the boys. Nothing. _Dammit!_ My gaze returned to the leech, who was staring at me curiously. _So much self control…he must be old. And…likes to play with his food?_

Reaching a hand out and placing against his chest, I pushed gently and, surprisingly enough, he took a step back, quirking a brow. "I'm fine," I said breathlessly, forcing myself to smile, my mind racing along with my pulse. "But…" I let my hands do the talking for me as I trailed my fingers down his chest and abdomen, earning a growl from him as I dropped my hand and brought it to the hem of my shirt, slowly and teasingly beginning to pull it, letting it creep up my abdomen. _Can't just explode out of this and walk out of here naked._ I was taking a huge risk and I knew it. He could decide to be done with the games and just attack me at any moment. I had to buy time though. I threw one last glance towards the door before whipping the shirt over my head, tossing it aside and smirking as the leech's eyes locked on the swells of my breasts over my strapless black bra. _Dinner and a show_.

He pushed towards me again, but I quickly raised a hand to his chest. He stopped, looking me up and down, his gaze most riveted on my chest and throat. _Naturally._

"Patience," I teasingly purred as I shoved at him lightly and brought both hands to my back, undoing the zipper of my skirt and twisting my hips as I pulled it over them, letting the skirt drop carelessly down my legs and pool around my feet. _I wonder how bad it would hurt if he broke my legs._ I cringed away from the negative thoughts, stepping over the skirt on the ground, using the opportunity to get a little more distance between myself and the bloodsucker. _Shame to ruin these panties, they're the only really nice ones I've got. _ _Ugh, the _shoes_ too! _ Couldn't be helped. The leech was advancing again, slowly, and I couldn't wait any longer. My skin was crawling and my heart was ready to explode.

"So sexy," his rich voice floated softly through the air as he took another step forward. "So warm." His eyes narrowed slightly as I took a significant step back, all traces of seduction gone from my expression.

"And my smell? You like that too?" I sneered as I finally allowed the tremors to begin running through me, the heat in my core ready to explode outwards on command, my knees bending and body hunching forward slightly in preparation.

He stopped in his tracks and stared at me, confusion marking his marble features as his brow furrowed. "What…"

"You ought to be more careful about choosing your prey. Too late." I saw him crouch ever so slightly before the heat took over, shooting through my body, shredding through my remaining clothing as my body shimmered and convulsed, turning me from woman to wolf in under a second.

My paws hit the pavement with a thud as I instantly sank into a crouch, flattening my ears against my skull and curling my lips back to expose my gleaming teeth as a low growl rumbled through my chest. I realized then that I was not alone. I heard Jacob, Embry, and Quil's minds swiftly running through their plan, _felt _their worry-fueled rage, realizing where they were as I saw myself appear in their vision. They were on the roof of the next building, a mere three stories high, finally leaning their heads over the edge of the roof to look down at us as they heard me phase too. I kept my eyes trained on the bloodsucker, not daring to look up and see if Sam and Paul and Jared were up there too.

The leech stood frozen, his eyes glued to me, wide with shock and his mouth slightly agape. "It cannot be…" he said, so softly that a mere human would not have heard him. His lips curled back over his teeth as well, a snarl escaping him as he turned on his heels in a split second.

_That's right, run! You won't make it to the end of the alley. _ I coiled to spring, my muscles tense as he finally tore his horrified gaze from me and bolted. I was after him in a flash.

"_Leah, wait!"_ I saw a blurring of images as Jacob, Embry, and Quil all leapt down from the rooftop in my wake, but I did not stop at Jacob's mental call. He hadn't used an Alpha command.

The leech was fast, but I gained on him easily. I saw three tall, dark forms appear at the other end of the alley right as I sprang at the bloodsucker, my paws hitting his back and sending him flying forward onto his face. There was a dull thud as his body hit the ground with mine landing on top. I wasted no time in lunging for his throat with my jaws open, but the monster twitched and jerked to the left. I ended up with my teeth sinking into his right shoulder, his screech of shock and pain filling the air as I clamped down, twisted, and jerked my head upwards. The screech of steel being torn in two was even more grating than the cry from the leech's throat. _Nothing else like it in the world._ I tossed his right arm aside, adrenaline and a sick sort of pleasure coursing through my body. Pain followed as the leech flipped over and swung his left arm out, a sharp crack resounding as he caught me across the shoulder. I hadn't jumped back fast enough.

"_Dammit! Leah!" _My mind registered Embry's as a snarl of pain escaped my lips and I backed up further, waiting for the crack to heal. The leech took advantage of the opportunity and sprang to his feet, ready to either run again or attack. With a bad shoulder, I was vulnerable. Again.

He never got that chance. My pack brothers, all six of them in wolf form now, surrounded him in the blink of an eye. The look on his face was priceless, but it lasted only a millisecond. He was quickly on the ground again, this time with six pairs of fangs sinking into him wherever they could find purchase. The boys quickly dragged him further back into the dark cover of the alley as they tore pieces of him off and tossed them away. His screams and snarls were silenced as Paul sank his jaws over the bloodsucker's throat, ready to tear the head off.

"_Wait!" _ I yelped aloud as I knew Paul could not hear my mind. This was _my _kill.

My pack instantly knew what I wanted, and Jacob quickly relayed the information to Sam. Paul's hold on the leech's throat reluctantly loosened as Sam ordered him to back off. The other boys ripped off whatever pieces of the creature were in their mouths at the moment and took a step back as well, making room for me.

I slowly prowled forward, the pain in my shoulder reduced to a dull ache as the healing process finished, my dark eyes trained on the writhing, dismembered leech. He was mangled beyond recognition, except for his face. His now-red eyes locked with mine, the horror written in them giving me some sort of sick thrill. The leech suddenly stilled his pathetic thrashing as I came to stand over him. His eyes closed.

I didn't waste another moment, quickly lunging for his throat, clamping my jaws down hard in the spot Paul's teeth had just vacated. The sickening crunch and screeching snap as I twisted and pulled made all of our fur stand on end, low growls resonating in our chests. I threw my head in the air violently, opening my jaws and letting the bloodsucker's head fly from my mouth. It hit the far wall and fell to the pavement, rolling a little before coming to a stop.

I fought hard to suppress the urge to howl in triumph.

The boys seemed to be a having a hard time holding in their exuberance too as they butted their heads into each other and into me, huffing and snorting from their muzzles as their minds whooped and hollered like kids getting out of school for the summer. I joined in the excitement, unable to contain myself. It had been too long since we'd all felt the thrill of taking out a bloodsucker.

My excitement died down almost completely as I caught Sam's eye, a sinking feeling taking over me as he shook his massive black head and began picking up pieces of the leech with his mouth, starting a pile that Paul and Jared began adding to as they calmed down. I didn't notice that my pack had stopped prancing about as well until I heard a little huff come from Quil. Jacob bumped Quil with his head and they both quickly joined the other wolves. I could feel their discomfort at having intruded on my thoughts and feelings, even though there was nothing they could do about that. _Shit._

I turned my head slightly to see Embry still staring at me, his mind relatively quiet like it usually was. His chest expanded and contracted as he huffed quietly much like Quil had, averting his eyes and moving to help pick up all the pieces.

I snapped my teeth together in frustration. _I'm going to change. Anyone looks my way they'll be missin' a limb._ I could tell Jake had passed the message along because Sam and his pack all conspicuously turned their backs like my pack had. I was no prude, having long since lost any real sense of modesty. Being the only female in a pack mind and coupled with the complications of transitioning from wolf to human and vice versa with a horde of males had destroyed that long ago. I'd seen every last one of them naked, and they'd all seen me at some point. That did not mean, however, that I didn't mind if they gawked at me while I changed. They all knew better, and as almost all of them had imprints that made them much less inclined to even want to stare at another naked female, it wasn't such a problem. _But still_.

I trotted further back into the alley, picking up my skirt and top gingerly in my teeth along the way. Once reaching the brick wall on the other end, I turned around and concentrated for a moment, feeling the air shimmer around me and the minds of the boys fade out as I lifted up on my hind legs, my form shifting back to human. I quickly stepped into my skirt and pulled it up, then pulled my shirt swiftly over my head. When I turned around I saw that the boys had all taken advantage of my semi-absence to make the change themselves. I worked the zipper of my skirt as I walked back towards them, eyeing the chalky pile of the leech's corpse.

"So…who's got a light?" I asked with a lifted brow as six dark heads turned to look at me. They all stared blankly, a few patting their pockets and shaking their heads for effect. I grimaced as I suddenly remembered I was sans-bra and panties, grateful for the darkness and the length of my skirt.

"We weren't exactly expecting my fuckin' bachelor party to turn into uh, this." Leave it to Jared to state the obvious.

"We can't just burn the thing _here_," Jake said with a roll of his eyes. "We're lucky enough we managed all of that without attracting any attention yet. Let's not push it. We can get a lighter or some matches inside. Someone will have to take it out of the city to burn it."

"I'll do it," I said without hesitation. "My kill, remember? Plus, I have my car here." I crossed my arms over my chest, still staring down at the corpse.

"Ok Leah, but you're not going by yourself. There's always the chance it wasn't alone. Embry, you go with her. The rest of us will go back and double check the club before heading to the hotel." Jacob tossed me a key to the room we'd reserved for our pack at a fairly inexpensive hotel. Sam, Paul, and Jared had one across the hall. Nice as it would be to have been able to get our own rooms, none of us had that kind of money to waste when there was really no reason we couldn't all double—er, triple and quadruple—up.

"Fine by me," I said as I caught the key. I took my purse as Quil extended it towards me, surprised he'd had enough presence of mind to keep track of it through all of this. "Hey try to get a bag of some sort too while you're in there!" I called to Jacob as he re-entered the club to get a lighter or matches.

The boys resumed fooling around, their adrenaline-fueled buzz not entirely worn off yet as they joked and punched each other. I punched a few of them myself as they made jokes about me picking up a bloodsucker and not being able to get dates because I end up killing them. Having had enough of their nonsense, I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes as the adrenaline began to ebb from me as well. I was exhausted.

"That was a damn foolish thing to do, Leah," Sam's deep voice near my ear made me jump as my eyes flashed open, glaring at him as he continued, "But I'm glad you're alright."

"Yea, thanks for that," I drawled back sarcastically, pushing away from the wall, relieved to see Jacob emerge with a bag. He tossed me a packet of matches as he bent over and began piling the pieces of the body into the bag. When he finished, he handed the bag to Embry and walked over to me.

"You did great, Lee. I'm really proud of my Beta right now," he said with a huge grin as he clapped me on the back. My answering smile was weak.

"Thanks, Alpha," I said with a roll of my eyes, pulling my cell phone out of my purse and glancing at the time. "We better get going, it's after two." Embry followed me as I headed towards the open end of the alley, fumbling around in my purse for my car keys.

"That seriously was awesome, Lee!" Embry said as he jogged up next to me and fell in step, the bag of leech remains in hand. "Your shoulder ok? We all felt that…ouch!"

"Thanks, Emb. Yea, it's completely fine," I managed with a tight smile as we exited the alley and turned left down the deserted street, heading towards the parking garage a few blocks down.

"You know Jake only sent me with you because they all want to get back to the hotel and call their imprints, right?" Embry asked with a chuckle.

I lifted a brow, glancing at him. "At two o'clock in the morning?" I snorted with a shake of my head.

"Oh come on, you know how they are. Nessie and Claire will be the only ones asleep anyway…not like the other girls were going to get much sleep with their men out at a club several hours away," he laughed.

I nodded slowly, muttering distractedly, "Mm, yea, I guess…" as we rounded the corner and walked into the parking garage and made our way to my car. Embry tossed the bag in my trunk and hopped into the passenger seat as I got in and started up the engine.

The drive out of Seattle was relatively quick, the roads being fairly empty of traffic at that time of night. Embry chatted on and off about the events of the night, focused mainly on the fight, not seeming to mind that my responses were minimal. My mind was elsewhere.

We drove well past the outskirts of the city, pulling off on the side of the highway at the first convenient spot and taking the bag into the woods. Embry stuffed the bag into a crevice in a small outcropping of rock on a wooded slope facing away from the highway, and I set it on fire. We stood back and watched silently as the sickly sweet smell of the dark smoke rose towards us, offending our sensitive noses. It took barely a few minutes for the remains of the leech to be completely consumed. When the fire burned itself out, we stomped on any glowing embers and kicked the ashes around, just for the hell of it.

The drive back into Seattle was quiet, with only the radio playing softly. Embry and I were both exhausted, and I had much on my mind. I stared at the open, empty road ahead with a slight frown creasing my forehead.

"You shouldn't let what he thinks affect you like that," Embry blurted out of nowhere, startling me. I turned my head to stare at him, shocked that he had brought up what my mind was mulling over like a broken record, before returning my gaze to the road. Apparently I wasn't the only one with something on my mind.

I gritted my teeth, playing dumb. "What are you talking about, Embry?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," he challenged. "You were awesome out there, and you know it…You should have seen your face when it was over. Wolf or not, you were fuckin' beaming, Lee."

His face was so sincere that I couldn't help but smile a little. "Thanks, Emb," I paused, shrugging before going on, "It just felt good. Like a little high…you know how it is."

"Yea, but…" he trailed off, turning his face towards the window before turning back to look at me. "It faded at the first sign of disapproval from _Sam_. I just don't get why you still give a shit what he thinks, after all this time…"

"You don't know when to shut the hell up, do you?" I snapped at him furiously, cutting him off as I gripped the steering wheel in anger. "Mind your own damned business, Embry! I didn't ask for your input!"

Tremors ran through me, and I took a deep breath to calm myself before I phased again right then and there. Embry opened his mouth as if to retort, then snapped it shut just as quickly, turning away towards the window again. I seethed inwardly. _Of all the nerve…_

"Sorry, Lee. I know it's none of my business, but…I'm just…we're all just tired of seeing you hurting," Embry's responded softly after a few moments of complete silence, catching me completely off guard.

"Yea, well, we all have to deal with each other's shit. You guys are stuck with me for now, so deal with it," I shot back, biting my tongue as soon as the words left my mouth. I knew he hadn't meant it that way. The sincerity behind his statement had unnerved me. I would much rather have heard him say that they all couldn't stand being in my depressing mind anymore. At least that I could handle. I had heard it often enough.

Embry sighed heavily next to me, frustration showing up in his tone, "That isn't what I meant…"

"Look, just stop, ok? I don't want to hear it," I cut him off again, exhaling slowly as he shook his head and turned to the window again. The rest of the ride back was silent.

When we finally made it to the hotel and got to our room, we found Jacob still up, talking quietly on his cell phone. He was sitting on a cot in the middle of the floor, and Quil was already sprawled out and snoring on one of the beds. One bed and a big chair in the corner were the only sleeping options left available.

Embry leaned against the wall, rubbing a hand over his face as he yawned. I stood just in front of the door, staring at Jacob, not even trying to disguise the fact that I was eavesdropping on his conversation.

"Yea so…crazy night. Mhm. Yep, the place was starting to clear out a little so it made it easier. No mate in the immediate area anyway. Yea we'll keep our eyes out. Ok. Tell Eddie all about it, will you? And the rest of the family, if you think you should. Sure. No, Sam will tell them tomorrow, he's got to get Paul and Jared home early so they can pick up patrols from the kids and Kim can drag Jared's ass around for last-minute wedding stuff. Mhm. Yea apparently she's turned into Bridezilla…weird, right?" Jacob laughed a little then yawned, not covering his mouth. "Ok Bella. Yea you have a good night too. Tell Ness I miss her and I'll be home as soon as I can tomorrow. And give her a big hug for me in the morning. Yea. Night Bells," he said as he ended the call and flipped his phone shut.

I had moved a little as Jacob finished his conversation with Bella, picking my oversized tee out of my small overnight bag on the floor and pulling it over my head after pulling my arm out of the one sleeve of my shirt, sticking my arms through the sleeves of the tee before pulling the red top down over my hips and adjusting the tee to its full length at mid-thigh. I then pulled my skirt off under the tee, slipping on a pair of small shorts before tossing the top and skirt into my bag. I could have just changed in the bathroom, but I wanted to hear what Jake was saying. Embry had enough sense to keep his back turned to me. I was pissed enough at him to begin with.

"So, everything taken care of?" Jake asked with another yawn as he lay down on the cot, his eyelids drooping.

"Yea, nothing left but ashes, bro," Embry answered with a yawn of his own, attempting to push past me as I made my way towards the chair in the corner.

I shot Embry a startled glare as he almost made me trip over Jake's cot. "What the fuck are you doing?" I growled at him, pushing him out of my way and walking over to the chair, tossing my pillow on it and sitting down.

"Lee, take the bed," he said with a lifted brow as he watched me.

"No," I snapped petulantly. "You take the bed. I'm sleeping here."

"Leah," he said, staring down at me, "Seriously, take the bed. Believe it or not, I was raised to be a gentleman and taking the bed while you sleep in a damned chair isn't gentlemanly."

I turned over on my side on the chair, putting my back to him as I curled up over my pillow. "I said I'm sleeping here. I don't need any damned chivalry. Go the hell to bed and let me sleep," I grumbled out, defying him simply because I was annoyed at him.

My eyelids were growing heavy with exhaustion, but I heard an exasperated sigh and a mumbled something about "stubborn ass females" before I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to the feeling of warm sheets and a flat, soft surface under my back. Popping one eye open at a time, I glanced around at my surroundings, disoriented for a moment until I remembered where I was, the events of the night before rushing back to me.

"Morning, sunshine!" a cheery voice rang out in the small room, making me sit up in bed. _Bed?_ I glanced over to my right to see Quil still sprawled out over the other bed, snoring away. The cot was empty with the sheets thrown back and the shower in the bathroom was running. A little bit of sunlight peaked in through the blinds over the window of the hotel room. The clock on the nightstand read 10:27am. I turned my half-open eyes to the middle of the room to see Embry standing there in only his boxers and shorts, holding a cup of steaming coffee in each hand as he flashed me a wide grin. I looked down at myself and then at the bed, my eyebrows lifting as I blinked.

"Embry, what the…" I ground out in a raspy voice, turning back to him with a frown creasing my brow as I ran my fingers through my messy hair.

"Don't get your panties in a knot, Lee," he laughed. "I slept in the chair. Coffee?" he asked, his cheeky grin widening as he walked closer and extended a cup to me.

I squinted up at him with a bleary-eyed scowl. It was going to be a long drive home.


	4. Fuck the World

**A/N: **_Hey hey. So, my original intent with this story was to give it all to you from Leah's POV, as this is her story. However, I changed my mind. I'm the author, so I get to do that haha. Some things just had to be told from a different perspective, and so with this chapter you get...Embry's POV! I hope you enjoy this rather long glimpse into his head. All chapters will be in Leah's POV unless otherwise noted. May even throw in some omniscient POV here and there, we will see. But for now, enjoy this look at life from the mind of MY favorite wolf boy ;) Oh, and reviews are ALWAYS appreciated._

* * *

**E POV: Two Years Later**

I'm not sure exactly when I fell for Leah Clearwater.

It could have been at the huge bonfire the tribe held the summer I was twelve. Pretty much everyone was there, just hanging out, eating, and having a good time. I was with Jacob and Quil, as usual, and Seth was following us around most of the night. Leah came over to talk to us at one point, and I made the mistake of pulling one of her braids after Quil made a comment about her being in need of a haircut. Most girls around that age probably would have run away crying at being teased like that, but not Leah. Quil ended up getting a good smack upside the head, and I ended up getting my ass shoved in the dirt. Leah then flicked her long braids over her shoulder and marched off while Jacob laughed his ass off at us. I looked up to see Harry Clearwater watching from a distance, and I could have sworn the old man was beaming as he watched his daughter.

It could have been less than a year later when she started dating Sam Uley. Every guy who had hit puberty knew Sam was one lucky bastard. At just fifteen, Leah was growing into one of the hottest girls on the rez, and we were all a little jealous.

It might have been almost three years later when Sam broke her heart. I couldn't help but feel awful for her when she came into school for weeks straight with her eyes red and puffy, as if she'd cried her eyes out the night before. She was broken. You could see it by the way she hid her face behind her long, silky hair and didn't talk much to anyone besides a few of her friends. Eventually she stopped coming to school with red eyes, stopped avoiding everyone, and started acting normal again…except she wasn't the same. She had changed somehow, and the difference was saddening. She had always been tough for a girl, but now there was a hardness about her. Her smiles and laughter had a bitter twist to them. I almost hated Sam Uley for that, unable to imagine how he could have ditched a girl like Leah for _her cousin_. It seemed pretty low to me, but that was before I knew the whole truth, before I understood…

It could have been almost a year later when Harry Clearwater passed away. His untimely death took a toll on the whole tribe, but his family was a mess. I was dealing with a lot of shit myself. Having phased somewhat recently, I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was a shifter on top of trying to hide it from my mother and deal with her anxiety about me. She would yell and cry and lecture me for what seemed like an eternity when she caught me sneaking in at all hours of the morning after hard patrols, thinking I had been out partying or getting involved with drugs and bad crowds and who the hell knows what else. Hard as that all was though, I knew it didn't compare to the pain and hardship the Clearwater family was going through. Seth was a wreck, but he stood strong by Sue's side during the funeral. And Leah…Leah was almost frightening. Her face, her eyes, everything about her seemed dead. She stood silently, her face a stony, emotionless mask. I had the crazy urge to take her by the arms and shake her, tell her it was ok to cry, as I watched from my place in the crowd beside my mother. It wasn't long though before I found out, through the connection of our minds when she joined the pack, that she _did_ cry. At night, alone in her bed where no one could see her or hear her pain, she would sob and hug her pillow tightly to her chest, crying for her father. Crying out for help. It was one of those things you wished you'd never seen in a pack mate's mind.

It might have been just weeks later when Leah first phased and joined the pack. What a nightmare that was. We were out in full force on our patrols, making sure that red-headed bloodsucker stayed away from our land and from Forks too. All of the sudden there was a new feeling, that weird shimmer that you feel in your mind when someone phases. It was followed directly by an agonized mental shrieking accompanied by a vision of Sue Clearwater's horrified face. For a moment we all thought it was Seth, as Sam had mentioned he was keeping an eye on the kid, knowing it was a possibility he could end up joining the pack too. The new mind finally recognized our presence, and a confused howling and whimpering ensued. We were all thrown for a loop when we saw Sue through the new wolf's mind swearing and mumbling, "Leah, oh my God, my baby," as she ran for the phone and quickly called Billy Black. _LEAH?_ Everyone went a little crazy for a moment, enough thoughts and emotions bouncing back and forth among us to cause a headache. Sam quickly took control of the situation, gently using the Alpha command to get Leah out of the house and into the woods. Surprisingly enough she obeyed without even second-guessing it, but her confusion and terror were tangible. Sam ordered us all to keep to our patrols and try to keep our minds quiet while he went to deal with Leah, but of course we were all listening, watching. I cringed when I saw her in Sam's mind as he found her and approached her. She was crouched, her back hunched and hackles raised, claws digging into the ground as if to anchor herself there, her ears laid back and teeth bared, low growls coming from her throat. Sam was calm and gentle with her, explaining what had happened the best he could, because even he was as confused as hell. Females weren't supposed to phase. Females never had before. While Leah eventually calmed down and got a grip, she was still a wreck. Her mind gradually began running over what had happened right before she phased. She'd been sitting in the kitchen with Sue, pushing her lunch around her plate, complaining about not feeling well, when the phone rang. Sue picked it up and started talking with one of her friends from the rez, eventually breaking down into tears over the subject of Harry. Leah had been holding everything in when she wasn't alone, but seeing her mother in tears this time, she just exploded. Jumped out of her chair as soon as Sue hung up the phone, angry tears streaming down her face as she took a book off the counter and threw it at the wall, screaming "_Why?_" over and over again, until she literally exploded right out of her skin. It was painful to watch. I had to bury the urge I had to comfort her, direct my thoughts away from the desire to somehow take her pain away. I had quickly become skilled at hiding my thoughts, but I didn't know if anyone had caught that. It probably didn't matter though. Everyone felt bad for Leah in some way or another…but not for very long.

I'm pretty damn sure it _wasn't_ after Leah had been in the pack for a little while, adjusting to things and letting the full force of her anger, jealousy, and bitterness show. I'd felt really bad for her not even a week later when Seth phased, his grief causing the transformation as well. She was a mess all over again as her little brother's life was forever changed, but we all knew that some part of her was glad to have Seth with her. The day we went as a pack with both of them to get their tattoos done was the last day for awhile that I felt sorry for her. Leah looked miserable, but she showed no sign pain as her tattoo was being done. The only time she flinched was in reaction to Seth flinching as he got his done right beside her. It was also pretty sad to see her absentmindedly reach her fingertips up to run them through her hair, a little bit of shock registering each time they reached the short ends. Maybe it was vanity, but I couldn't blame her for mourning the loss of her long, beautiful black hair. I _wished_ I could blame her for the nasty behavior she started exhibiting not long after that, especially when it was directed at me. Her constant harping on the unknown identity of my father not only grated on my nerves but also just plain fucking hurt. I'd never done anything to her to deserve that. Hell, I was probably nicer to her than any of the other guys in the pack. They'd all lost patience with her pretty fast and started treating her like the bitch she was being. I could never bring myself to treat her like that though, even when I was the one she was cutting up with her malicious thoughts. When it got to be too much Sam would order her to drop it. She stopped because she had to, but she never failed to retort with something underhanded and taunting. I never replied to her harping about my father in kind though. The most I ever did was just ask her to stop, which she rarely listened to. It would have been so easy to shut her up with some kind of cruel comment about her own life, but I just couldn't do that. I knew she didn't have anything against me personally. She was just looking for a distraction from her pain, a way to distract herself and everyone else from her thoughts about her father and even more so about Sam and Emily. I was just an easy target.

I _suppose _it actually could have been a few moments during those early days in the pack. Moments where we caught Leah's mind running over her situation in a frenzy, trying to figure out what she had done or what was wrong with her to make her the freak, the only female wolf. Moments where she worried over the fact that she was no longer getting her period, trying to hide her fears that she was sterile. She knew she couldn't be pregnant, as it had been over a year since Sam left her. When she came to the conclusion that she _was_ sterile because Sam would have imprinted on _her_ rather than Emily, who wasn't even Quileute, if she were able to pass on the shifter gene, everyone had to suffer the pain that tore through her. It wasn't just her pain, either. I actually started to feel a little sorry for Sam, too. Being in her mind was like torture for him.

It quite easily could have been that night in Seattle. _What a night._ The whole thing seemed sort of crazy and surreal, looking back at it. A harmless trip to a club turning into the hunt and slaughter of a leech in a dark, abandoned alley in the city. Leah pulling me to the dance floor with her, turning me on with her kisses and touches and her ass grinding into my lap. "Work" or not, it was fucking hot. Then there was later in the night, when I'd pissed her off with my comments about Sam. I knew I'd hit a nerve, and honestly I was a little surprised at myself for being bold enough to say the things to her that I did. I could handle her wrath though, and it didn't stop me from holding her in my arms a moment or two longer than necessary when I picked her up out of that damned chair and put her on the bed after she fell asleep. Probably wasn't smart of me, for the sake of my own sanity, to tuck her in and brush away the few strands of hair that had fallen in her face before settling into the chair for an uncomfortable night's sleep. That night became the subject of my dreams for months afterwards. It took every ounce of control I had to keep anything and everything about it out of my head while patrolling.

If I were forced to pinpoint a moment though, I would probably say it was the moment I saw her walking down the aisle…at Sam and Emily's wedding. She was stunningly beautiful. The soft curls and light makeup she wore gave her a gentle appearance I hadn't seen on her since before her transformation, and the bridesmaid dress perfectly accentuated her womanly curves and the color of her skin. Granted, every other bridesmaid was pretty, too, and the bride herself was absolutely radiant. Somehow, on this day, Emily's scars seemed to add to her glowing beauty rather than detract from it. All of that taken into consideration, though, it was Leah Clearwater I could barely manage to keep my eyes off of. In addition to looking more beautiful than I'd seen her look in years, there was something about the calm composure of her expression that held my attention. I wondered if it was genuine. She had a proud lift to her chin and she stared straight ahead the entire time. I never once saw her look in Sam's direction, let alone directly at him. If this was as hard for her as anyone would imagine it to be, I wondered why the hell she would have put herself through such an ordeal by agreeing to be a bridesmaid. Why would she torture herself like that? I didn't find out until later in the evening.

The reception was held at the tribal meeting hall. The place was big enough to accommodate all of the guests comfortably and had been decorated simply and tastefully with all of Emily's favorite flowers. In addition to an almost ridiculous amount of food, there was also a seemingly endless supply of booze. I was a little surprised by that, as neither Sam nor Emily were much for drinking. Plenty of people on the rez were though, so I supposed it was for their benefit…until I counted the tenth bottle that Leah tossed in the trash. Overboard as it may seem, I couldn't help but start to wonder if they'd really done it for her. I guess it wasn't really fair or reasonable to expect her to get through the day without it. She'd been drinking somewhat heavily even at Jared and Kim's wedding two years back. I watched Leah for a little while longer, grimacing with each new bottle she opened and glass she tipped back. If she was trying to get herself drunk, she was on the right path.

The night was full of laughter and high spirits, the women not failing to blubber and shed happy tears all over each other. Sam must have gotten slapped on the back by every man on the rez, and I lost count of how many times I heard him get congratulated for "finally tying the knot." The phrase "made for each other" kept getting thrown around in excess too. Every one of us guys took a few turns each dancing with the bride. We all loved Emily dearly and were glad to see the mother figure of our packs so radiantly happy. She'd done a lot of the cooking for her own reception dinner herself, so of course the food was delicious. There was music playing almost constantly, an odd but somehow fitting mixture of romantic songs, traditional tribal compositions, and of course the prerequisite party songs that everyone could dance to. In an atmosphere like that, it would have been easy for anyone to forget all about Leah as she sat at a table towards the back of the room, downing drink after drink, alone except for the occasional visit from Sue, Seth, and Jacob just to check on her. Easy for anyone except for me, that is. I wondered if it was obvious to anyone that I was having a hard time keeping my eyes from the back corner of the room. After about two hours of driving myself nuts by trying to avoid her, I finally gave in with a sigh, picking up a beer on my way over to her table.

Leah barely glanced at me as I sat down next to her and leaned back in the chair, cracking open my beer. I watched her long lashes brush against her high cheekbones as she closed her eyes, tilting back her head to take a drink. "Pretty sure there's a ping pong table in storage somewhere around here, if you wanna have some fun while you're at that," I teased lightly, tipping my chair back and balancing it on two legs. Fortunately, my sharp eyes caught the movement of her leg before she could hook her high heel-clad foot around one leg of the chair and pull. I lurched forward, letting the chair drop onto all four legs again, shaking my head as I laughed at her. "Aw come on, Lee. That wouldn't have been very nice."

"No, but it would have been damn funny," she snorted, setting her empty glass down on the table in front of her as her eyes traveled towards the coolers again.

"Your liver is your friend, you know. Might wanna take it easy there," I said as I watched her, noticing a slight slur to her speech. She had to have been at least buzzed at that point, if not a little tipsy. Leah just stared down at her empty glass, pushing it back and forth from hand to hand on the table. "Hey…," I nudged her with my elbow, turning towards her slightly, "You ok?"

Leah continued her silent stare for a few more long moments, startling me a little as she murmured suddenly, "You ever envy them, Emb?"

"Envy who?" I asked quietly and cautiously, glancing around the room before returning my gaze to her face more even more intently.

"Them. All of them," she said softly with a flippant wave of her hand. "The ones who, you know, have somebody? Like, do you ever wish you had an imprint too?"

I lifted my brows in surprise. Leah asking me personal questions as if she actually cared? Yea, she was definitely feeling the effects of all the alcohol she'd poured down her throat.

I was quiet for a minute, taking a sip of my beer as I contemplated how to answer. "Well," I began slowly, "yes and no. Yes, sometimes I envy the ones who have _somebody_ because, well, doesn't everybody at some point?" I shrugged. "But _no_, I don't envy them for having imprints…I don't wish I had one."

"Why?" she challenged, finally tilting her head to the side to look at me.

"Because. It's just…not for me. I want to have a choice," I answered, lifting a brow at her. "Well what about you? Do you wish you had an imprint?" I winced a little as soon as the words were out of my mouth. _Perfect timing for something that's a sore subject to begin with. Nice going, Call. _I reasoned with myself that it was alright though, considering she was the one who brought it up.

Leah returned her gaze to her glass, staring at it thoughtfully as she slowly responded, "No…no, I don't. At one point I thought I would have welcomed it…when I saw the way Jacob changed when he imprinted. Much as that hurt, since I'd thought he was the one person I could count on to…well, basically be miserable right along with me…I don't know, just something about how easy it was, how everything else from the past was just erased…it made me think I might want to, or would at least be ok with it. Easy escape from the pain, you know?" She shook her head a little before lifting the glass to her lips, tilting her head back to pour the last tiny drop down her throat. "But the more I thought about it…just…no. I want a choice too, and I don't want any easy outs. Some of us just have to make our own way…" she trailed off, lifting her eyes to the middle of the room where couples were slow dancing.

I followed the direction of her gaze, cringing internally when I realized she was staring directly at Sam and Emily as they slowly spun in each other's arms. She didn't seem to care if anyone noticed or not. But then, she had just been rambling moments before, spilling her guts to me about her thoughts on imprinting. I fleetingly wondered what she would be acting like if she got herself really smashed. I'd never seen her drunk, but I'd be willing to bet it would be quite a sight.

I slowly looked back and forth between Leah sitting next to me and Sam and Emily dancing in the middle of the room, seemingly aware of no one but each other. Eventually Emily laid her head on Sam's shoulder as they moved, closing her eyes as he removed one hand from the small of her back and brought it up to stroke her hair. Sam rested his cheek against Emily's head, and I saw his eyes lock with Leah's. I couldn't even begin to imagine and probably wouldn't even want to know what he was thinking and feeling at that moment. Leah's eyes never flickered, never wavered, and there was an expression on her face that puzzled me. Her eyes squinted a little, and I could have sworn I saw one corner of her lips pull upwards right before she rose to her feet, setting her glass down.

"Leah?" I questioned, reaching out a hand to steady her when I noticed her sway a little, her gracefully perfect balance doubtless being thrown off by high heels and alcohol. I glanced at her chest, the rise and fall of the upper swells of her breasts visible in her bridesmaid dress catching my attention as she inhaled and exhaled deeply, pushing her chair back. "Where are you going?" I asked, returning my gaze to her face.

She stared down at me for a moment before responding, "There's more than one way to erase the past. Screw imprinting, I'll just do it the normal way."

"What are you talking about?" I questioned as I rose slowly beside her, her words and the expression on her face worrying me.

"Hey, come on, Call," she said as she grabbed my arm and tugged a little, "I need your help with something." She let go of my arm and turned away, heading for the nearest door. I followed, naturally, and I wondered if she'd known I would follow without further question.

If anyone noticed us slipping out of the small building together, they didn't make it obvious. I followed a pace or two behind Leah as she headed down the sidewalk and stepped out onto the gravel of the parking lot, eventually stopping to take off her heels. I offered to help as she bent down and fumbled with the straps, but, true to form, she pushed me away and declared that she didn't need help. I fell into step beside her, wondering where we were going as she marched off, high heels in hand. The gravel didn't seem to bother her, but that wasn't surprising considering how often we all ran around in the woods barefoot. Eventually we made it to the dirt road and I guess by the direction we turned that we were headed for her place.

I was right. Within minutes the Clearwater house appeared in the distance, and Leah picked up her pace. The determination in her step and in the set of her jaw had me curious, but I was patient. I was always patient. Completely the opposite of Leah, who was like a little tornado, especially when she got worked up over something. _Tornado…now that's a perfect way to describe her…right down to the way she can be completely calm before fucking blowing up into a storm._

I wondered if this was some kind of "calm before the storm" as Leah walked into her house, leaving the door open for me to follow in behind her, and headed straight to her room. I glanced around the familiar living room before following after her. It had been a good couple of months since we'd all been at the Clearwaters' place to have dinner or just to hang out, but nothing had changed. The house looked exactly the same as it did when Harry was still alive.

I found Leah dragging a rickety desk chair over to her closet as I sauntered in and leaned against the door frame. "Want help with that?" I asked as I watched her step up onto it and begin fishing around on the top shelf of her closet. I couldn't help but stare at her long, toned legs as she pushed up on her tip toes, causing the muscles of her calves to flex. _What the hell?_ I'd caught glimpses of Leah _naked_ before, and here I was just gawking at her exposed legs like a fool.

"Hmm, what?" Leah asked, turning around to glance at me as if she'd forgotten I was there. Who was I kidding, she probably had. "Oh uh…no," she continued, steadying herself as she almost lost her balance on the chair. "Go out back and get some wood. There's a stack by the shed."

Lifting a brow, silently betting on hearing a crash as soon as I left the house, I did as she asked. _Asked? Ha._ Commanded _is more like it._ I really would have liked to know what the hell Jake was thinking when he put Leah in the highest pack rank next to himself. He'd given an already bossy woman a serious complex. Granted, she was a good Beta, but she took the whole thing way too seriously. _As if you don't actually like it…_

Shaking my head, I stacked a few logs in my arms and turned to go back to the house, only to find Leah standing right there with a big shoe box tucked under her arm. Her wolf stealth was obviously still fully functioning as she hadn't made any noise, but I wondered as I looked down at her and inhaled how I could have missed her scent as she joined me outside. She smelled wonderful, and it was almost impossible to describe. Something completely natural and feminine mixed with the musky odor of the outdoors we all shared. Today though there was something extra, something light and floral that, combined with her natural scent, made me want to bury my nose in her hair, trail it along her hot skin, take in every nuance of her scent. _What the fuck? Get a grip, man._

"Oh shit, I forgot something," Leah said, blinking up at me before dropping the box and running back inside the house. She returned a minute later with a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a lighter in the other.

"Seriously, Lee?" I asked, raising my brows at the bottle in her hand. Although I had figured out by now that she wanted to make a fire, I was pretty sure she wasn't going to use that bottle of Jack for fuel.

"Either shut up and follow me, Emb, or go back to the wedding," she spat with a glare at me as she picked up the box and headed off onto a trail through the woods behind her house. Of course I followed.

After a few minutes the trail got a little rockier and the trees more sparse, and I could smell the ocean much more strongly. We turned onto another narrow trail that led us right along the edge of the forest by the cliffs until we reached the one big, open ledge that had a fire pit. When I had dumped the firewood into the pit and arranged it properly, Leah opened her bottle and actually did pour a little over the damp wood before taking the lighter to it. The alcohol caught ablaze instantly, and Leah bent down to open the shoe box, tossing the cardboard lid onto the fire. I crouched down beside her as she started picking up stacks of papers out of the open box, grimacing as I caught some of the words. Words like _love_ and _someday_ and _forever_. I didn't even have to see the _Dear Lee-lee_ or the _Love, Sam_ written at the top and bottom of each paper to know exactly what these letters were.

"Wow," I said, clearing my throat a little awkwardly as Leah began shifting through the letters in her hands. "Never would have taken Sam for the letter-writing type."

Leah snorted softly without looking up at me. "Yea, believe it or not, he was. It was easier for him than talking straight to my face about a lot of really personal things," she answered with a shrug, lifting her hand suddenly and tossing the papers straight into the fire. I glanced back and forth between her calm face and the papers going up in flames, momentarily strengthening the fire.

"You uh…you alright with me being here?" I asked with a lifted brow as Leah continued to pick up letter after letter, glancing over them before adding them to the fire.

"I asked you to come help me, didn't I?" she retorted, finally looking at me as she reached for the Jack Daniel's, opening it again and taking a long drink.

I nodded slowly. "Mhm, you did, but you're also a bit under the influence." Leah just rolled her eyes in response to that, taking another drink before offering the bottle to me and picking up a letter in an envelope, squinting at it slightly.

I took the bottle she offered and took a slow drink, watching as she slowly opened the envelope and scanned the letter inside, growing confliction evident on her face as she glanced towards the fire. "Something wrong?" I asked cautiously, waiting for her to lose it at any given moment.

"Noo," she said slowly, grabbing the bottle back from me and taking another long swig, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand before continuing, "It's just…this letter isn't mine. I mean, it isn't to me." She shook her head a little, blinking rapidly and taking another drink. "It's a letter from Sam's dad that Sam passed on to me. Wanted me to read it so I would understand some things about him better. He told me to keep it, didn't want it back. I'm not sure what I should do with this…" she trailed off, looking at the fire uncertainly.

"Give it back to Sam," I interjected quickly, reaching my hand out for the letter. Something about it just instantly gave me an odd feeling, like it was something I myself might want…might _need_ to read. It actually made me feel a little sick.

"No. Sam didn't want it. I don't want it either," she said, carelessly tossing it into the flames with the rest. I stared at the letter as it caught fire, gradually blackening and crumbling away into ashes.

I didn't want to stop and think about why that might be bugging me so much, so instead I focused on Leah. I watched the way the faint reddish rays from the setting sun peaking through the clouds mixed with the light of the fire and caused her copper skin to glow. I watched the flames dance in her determined black eyes as she threw letter after letter into the fire. I caught the glistening of her short black hair as she tossed it away from her face each time she tipped her head back to take a drink. _Shit, she's beautiful._

"Why did you do it?" I asked her softly, my eyes locking with hers as she turned to me in surprise. "Be a bridesmaid, I mean. You didn't have to do that for Emily. I'm sure she would have understood. Nobody would have blamed you."

Leah slowly turned back to the fire, blinking a few times as if to clear her head before responding. "I know I didn't have to. Fuck, nobody coulda forced me to do it if I didn't want to. But…I did want to. For myself. It was like…my way of saying that I'm over it. Above it. That I'm stronger than it all. Make sense?" she asked with a quirked brow, sitting back on the rocks and stretching her legs out in front of her as she threw the last of the letters into the fire and then the whole shoe box on top, dusting off her hands.

I tilted my head as I gazed at her, a smile pulling up one corner of my lips. "Yea, it does…kind of like…flipping off fate and the world and, well, anyone who didn't think you could do it?" I laughed a little, sitting back next to her, bending my knees and resting my elbows on them, turning my gaze to the fire.

"_Exaaaactly_ like that!" she nodded enthusiastically, lifting her bottle into the air with one hand and her middle finger with the other. "FUCK YOU, universe!" she yelled loudly, erupting into laughter before tipping back the bottle and draining it of its contents.

My smile widened as I watched her, and I suddenly found myself wishing that she could be like this _without_ the aid of booze. Carefree. I wanted her laughter to be genuine. _I want to be the one who makes her feel carefree, who makes her laugh simply out of real happiness._

"Woah, easy!" I cautioned, reaching to put a hand behind her back as she almost tipped over backwards. She laughed and surprised me by catching herself and flopping into my side as I reached behind her. I instinctively curled an arm around her and took the empty bottle out of her hands with my free hand, setting it aside. And as if she hadn't surprised me enough for one night, Leah snuggled herself into my side, resting her head on my shoulder as she calmed down and watched the fire.

"Lee?" I questioned as I rested my head on top of hers. She mumbled some sort of noise from her throat that I took as a response and continued. "When…_if_ you remember this tomorrow and want to kick my ass, try to also remember that you asked me to come here with you and that _you_ threw yourself at me, ok?" I chuckled, giving her a squeeze with the arm I had wrapped around her.

"Ohhh shut up, Emb," she mumbled with a yawn, rubbing at her now-bloodshot eyes.

"Whatever you say, Lee-lee," I responded with a laugh, stiffening as soon as I realized what I'd just called her. I looked down quickly, trying to see her face as I felt her stiffen too. "Shit," I muttered softly, "Sorry, Leah, I didn't mean to…I don't know where that came from…" I trailed off, cringing internally. _Why the hell did I just call her that? Fuck. _No one had dared use Sam's old nickname for her since the day she almost bit Jared's head off for it. I hadn't even been there for it, Sam's attempt at keeping me tied to him and his pack, but seeing the incident replayed in Jared's mind later that day had been enough warning for everyone. Even Sam realized his mistake in having Jared use a manipulative tactic like that to bring Leah and Seth back to his pack. It had backfired right in his face, serving to drive Leah further away. _Aaand there goes any connection you just made with her. Way to go. _

"No," Leah said softly, pushing herself upright and looking at me with narrowed eyes. She didn't look angry though. I watched in confusion as her face scrunched up for a moment and then smoothed out, that calm, determined look settling into place again. "It's…ok, Emb. Yea, it's ok," she said slowly, punctuating each "ok" with a firm nod. "I always really loved that nickname, and I still do. Sam can't…I _won't let_ Sam take that from me anymore. So…" she trailed off a bit, turning her gaze to the fire and chewing her lower lip for a moment before going on. "So from now on, Lee-lee is ok. You can call me that. Anybody can call me that. Except...well, I'll change it, just a little." She blinked rapidly and sat up completely straight, turning to look at me again. "We spelled it L-E-E dash L-E-E…so I'll just drop the baggage," she smirked slightly, nodding. "Yup, drop the baggage. Who needs the extra e's? From now on it's just L-E-L-E. How's that sound?"

I grinned widely at her, unable to help myself. Her rambling was fucking adorable, and I was proud of her for coming to that conclusion, no matter how drunk she might have been. "It sounds perfect…Lele," I responded, watching an answering smile spread over her face. "Hey, _Lele_" I said, glancing at the fire as it died down and then to the darkening sky. "We really ought to be getting back to the wedding."

Leah nodded slowly, wobbling as she tried to stand up. "Okaaaay _Emby_," she snorted with laughter, finally getting herself upright and stumbling slightly as she took a step towards the fire, kicking ashes over the remains of it. "You need a new nickname too then, Embyyyy!" she laughed again, bending over and picking up the half-full bucket of water that rested by the fire pit.

"Let me get that before you spill it," I said, grabbing the bucket from her. "And uh, no thanks. I don't need a new nickname, especially not _Emby_," I said with mock disgust as I tossed the water over the fire.

Leah giggled, plunking down on a log when she couldn't keep her balance. "No Emby? Okaaay then…hoooow about...'Bry, or...Ember?" she asked with a laugh as she pointed at the glowing embers that were the only remains from the fire.

"That's what my name means, genius," I rolled my eyes at her, hiding the smile on my face as I turned around and covered the rest of the embers with dirt and ash.

She scrunched up her nose. "It does?" she asked with a tilt of her head. _So fucking cute._

"_Yes_, Lele, it does," I said, feigning exasperation. "Well, basically. 'Smoldering fire' is actually more accurate. You know this, or at least would be able to figure it out on your own if you weren't drunk."

"Oh," she responded. "Smoldering fire, huh?" she burst out laughing at that, almost falling off the log. "It's like…_lava_!" she giggled, rolling the word off her tongue.

I shook my head and laughed. "That shit is really hitting you now, isn't it? Am I gonna have to carry you back?" I asked, only half joking.

"No!" she yelled, jumping up off the log. "I'm a big girl, I _can_ walk," she said as she took a few steps, trying to find her balance.

After tripping over her own feet several times, Leah finally consented to hold onto my arm while we walked back. She was so fucked up, but she was smiling and laughing, so I couldn't really look at it as a bad thing. When we finally made it back, people were already starting to make their way out of the meeting hall, and I didn't fail to catch the funny looks some of them threw us. Sue and Seth walked out of the building together right as we reached the steps.

"Leah? Where on earth were you?" Sue asked, her brow wrinkling in concern as she approached her daughter and laid a hand on her arm.

Leah flashed Sue an endearing smile as she put an arm around her. "Nowhere really, Mom. I just made a campfire," she answered with a laugh that turned into a hiccup.

"Woah, sis, you're smashed!" a wide-eyed Seth commented. "Dude, what the hell?" he asked, turning on me with narrowed eyes.

I lifted my hands defensively in front of me. "Hey, I had nothing to do with it. I tried to get her to stop. She just wanted my help making a fire out on the cliffs."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not right here!" Leah protested, smacking my arm and rolling her eyes at Seth. "I'm not _that_ smashed."

"Alright, alright," Sue cut in, giving Leah and Seth both that "mother" look. "Let's get you home, sweetheart," she said as she grasped Leah firmly around the waist. "Embry?" she questioned, turning to me. "Thank you for taking care of Leah," she said with a warm smile as I tore my gaze from Leah's face to hers.

"No problem," I answered with a nonchalant shrug. "Just looking out for our second-in-command," I smiled back at Sue, noting the way she was observing me with a slightly lifted brow and a look in her eye that made me think she wasn't fooled by my casual attitude.

All three Clearwaters bid me goodnight and walked off towards their car. I stayed out on the porch, leaning against the railing as I watched them go. After they were gone, I dragged a hand down my face and went back inside to look for my mom. _What the hell just happened?_

I went home that night with my mind replaying everything like a broken record. I couldn't stop thinking about Leah, and I didn't know what to expect from her after all of that. I should have been able to guess, though. The next day Jake invited us all over for dinner since Billy was grilling and Sam's pack had taken over patrols for the whole day while he and Emily left for their honeymoon. Apparently Leah had slept til late afternoon and was still nursing a hangover at dinnertime. She was in a foul mood and barely said a word directly to me the whole night. I was stupid to think that anything would have been different between us. She acted just the same as she always had. Nothing had changed. For her, anyway. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. My attention was riveted on her when she was around, and my thoughts started revolving around her when she wasn't.

A few days later, I approached Jake while he was working on one of his old cars and asked him to take me off of patrols with Leah until further notice. I usually didn't patrol with her more than once a week anyway and had comparatively good control over my thoughts, but I just couldn't hide it. And I did _not _want her knowing. She could be vicious for absolutely no reason, so I didn't even want to imagine what a rejection from her would be like.

I didn't explain to Jake why I didn't want to patrol with Leah anymore, and he didn't ask. He was my best friend. He didn't have to. He just shook his head a little, finally commenting that it was alright. Apparently he and Sam had been talking and they had jointly decided that double patrols were no longer necessary, that at least one wolf on patrol at all times would do. There had been no vampire incidents since the night in Seattle, and no threatening vampires had been in the area since the incident after Nessie's birth. Some friends of the Cullens would visit here and there, but we were always given advanced warning of their presence, and the ones who were not "vegetarian" knew better than to hunt with hundreds of miles of La Push and Forks. Jake concluded that I could patrol with Quil if double patrols became necessary again, and Leah could patrol with Seth. I slapped Jake on the back and thanked him, preparing to head home, before he stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Dude…" he started, seeming to be trying to find the rights words. "You're asking for a helluva lot of trouble, you know," he finally commented, giving me a knowing, worried look.

I shrugged his hand off, backing out of his garage. "No I'm not, bro," I said slowly with a shake of my head. "I'm trying to avoid it."

Avoid it I did, but to no avail. In fact, everything inside just got worse the more I tried to avoid trouble, avoid_ her_. Patrol or no patrol, there was really no escaping having to be around her on a regular basis, even though she started distancing herself from me in response to me distancing myself from her. And the further away she got, the worse I wanted her.

I had fallen in love with Leah Clearwater. _Fuck. My. Life._


	5. Unexpected

**One Year Later**

Rain. Rain. More Rain. The fact that it was late winter moving into early spring didn't matter. It rained no matter what time of year it was. And I was fucking sick of it.

Twisting my body up in the sheets as I rolled over in bed, I turned my gaze from the droplets of water pelting the glass and squinted at my alarm clock. Five o'clock in the evening, and it was time for some stupid pack meeting. I'd patrolled all night long and then fitfully slept the day away, getting up only for a couple of hours around noon to have lunch and help Mom with some chores.

"What kind of fucking moron calls a pack meeting right around dinner time?" I grumbled groggily to my mom as I shuffled out of my bedroom, yawning as I made my way into the kitchen and leaned against the wall.

"I'm sure Jake has his reasons, baby," Sue tried to pacify me, glancing up from the vegetables she was cutting on the counter.

"Right," I snorted. "Reasons that probably revolve around him and his plans with the demon spawn."

"Leah," Sue said with a stern glance in my direction. "That isn't kind. Nessie is a sweet girl, regardless of what she is. I thought you didn't mind her?" she asked with a lifted brow.

I rubbed my eyes, mumbling in response. "You're only saying that because she's Charlie's granddaughter."

"Don't even go there, young lady," Sue teasingly threatened, and I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"No, I don't really mind her," I admitted with another yawn. "Jake's just pissing me off lately because of her. She's not exactly a kid anymore, and his issues with his changing relationship with her are driving us all nuts. I swear Mom, if you had to be in his head for even five minutes you'd wanna kill him too."

Sue chuckled and shook her head, chiding, "Be fair, Leah. Jake is your friend, and you all should be supporting each other when you need it."

"Blah blah blah, I know," I sighed, reaching over to hug Sue from behind when she shot me a warning glare. "Sorry. No disrespect intended," I apologized with a kiss to her cheek, letting go of her and stretching. "You know where Seth is?"

"He left before you even got up, sweetheart," Sue answered, turning back to her meal preparations. "But he had a sandwich before he left. You want anything?" she questioned right as my stomach growled.

"Nah, I'll be fine," I grumbled, grabbing my piece of cord off the table as I headed for the back door. "Later, Mom," I waved to her before exiting the house and jogging off towards the woods.

I stripped down and phased quickly, taking off towards the spot in the forest we usually held our infrequent pack meetings. Letting out a mental groan as I heard the obnoxious mental chatter of the guys, I picked up my pace, enjoying the feel of the wind rushing through my gray fur.

"_Yeah, we're soooo happy to see you too, Le,"_ Quil drawled at me as I neared, snapping at a set of gray paws as Embry took advantage of his distraction. He reared up and slammed into Quil, knocking the chocolate brown wolf over on his side. Seth barked excitedly and jumped on top of Quil too, nipping at the scruff of his neck.

"_What are you guys, a bunch of fucking puppies?"_ I snorted as Quil let out a frustrated whine, struggling to his feet and snapping at both Embry and my brother.

"_Ganging up on me. Yeah, you guys are real cool,"_ Quil huffed, and I couldn't help but let out a wolfish, barking laugh as we felt his annoyance.

"_Not our fault you suck at defending yourself, dude,"_ Embry taunted as he circled Quil threateningly, laughter echoing in his thoughts. Quil wasted no time in lunging at him, and of course Seth jumped in again too.

I rolled my large black eyes as another scuffle ensued, huffing out impatiently as I scanned the forest. _"Jake's furry ass better show up within the next few minutes or I'm leaving,"_ I thought, knowing the boys weren't paying much attention.

After about five minutes with no sight or sound of Jake and the incessant noise of the boys play fighting in my head, I'd had enough of just pacing around. _"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," _I thought loudly right before whirling around and springing at the boys, a smirk pulling at my muzzle as I knocked both Quil and Embry off of Seth with the force of impact.

Seth rolled over and jumped up, backing out of my way as I pounced at Quil, trying to push him to the ground but failing as I was no match for him in size. _"Bow to your Beta, you little bitch!"_ I growled as I snapped at him, slamming my head into his side when he jumped beyond the reach of my teeth. Seth's snorted wolf laughter and the laughter ringing in his head egged me on as I rammed Quil in the leg, succeeding in making it buckle before he recovered himself and pounced on top of me, shoving me to the ground and keeping me there with his weight.

"_A little help, bro?"_ I snarled at Seth, watching as he immediately sprang into action and knocked Quil off of me. The two of us then went after Quil, ramming him and latching onto his fur, yelping in victory as we dragged him down and pinned him there together.

"_DUDE!"_ Quil barked at Embry as he struggled, _"What the hell, come help me!"_ It was only then that I noticed Embry had backed off from the fight and was sitting several yards away, just watching.

"_Sorry man, you're on your own,"_ he thought passively, shaking his dark gray head as Quil whined in protest.

I let go of my hold on the scruff of Quil's neck, leaping over his body and stalking towards Embry, my head low and my ears laid back as I approached. _"Aww what'sa matter? Emby don't wanna play no more?"_ I taunted, my tail swishing back and forth as I circled him.

"_No, I don't. Leave me alone, Leah,"_ he said with a low growl, his tone laced with annoyance and something else I couldn't quite place. _Anxiety?_

I snorted and crouched. _"Too bad,"_ I thought right before springing at his back, hitting him hard but failing to move him as I rolled to the side, catching one of his ears between my teeth. He lowered his head as I tugged at his ear playfully, growls resonating in my throat.

"_I'm serious, Leah. Knock it off!"_ he growled, pulling away from me with a yank of his head, getting to his feet and shaking out his fur.

"_What the fuck is _your _problem?" _I queried as I backed off, trying to hide the fact that I was a little offended. _"We were only playing."_

"_Nothing, just…"_ Embry's attempt at an explanation was cut off by Quil's barking as he and Seth sauntered over to us.

"_Yea what's with the mood swing bro? You started it all,"_ Seth chimed in, cocking his sandy head to the side inquisitively.

"_Dude, what are you, PMSing or something?"_ Quil practically howled with laughter, flopping back on his haunches as Embry lowered his head and growled at him. _"You must be! Hey, I'll bet you're PMSing because Leah can't!" _Quil's chortled.

I froze in place, feeling like someone just poured vinegar in an open wound. Quil didn't realize his mistake until they all caught my thoughts and emotions as I simply stared at him.

"_Shit…Leah, I wasn't thinking, I'm…"_ Quil's apology was cut off as Embry abruptly charged him and knocked him to the ground.

"_You need to watch your stupid mouth and _think_, idiot,"_ Embry snarled in Quil's face moments before we felt the familiar shimmer and heard Jacob's mind as he phased and joined us.

I caught Embry's dark eyes trained on me, his mind questioning if I was ok. I snorted and shook out my fur haughtily, ignoring his question as Jacob caught bits and pieces of the last few minutes in everyone's head and growled as he sped towards us.

"_Seriously? I can't leave you all alone together for ten fuckin' minutes without you all fighting? Geez," _he scolded us all, like he was some sort of authority figure.

"_He _is_, Lele,"_ Seth commented with a little laugh, earning a mental eye roll from me.

"_We were only fooling around, Almighty One,"_ I responded, my tone dripping with sarcasm. _"And you're late."_

"_Nevermind that,"_ Jake ordered, unable to stop a few images of the time he spent with Nessie from escaping. While we were all grateful that his relationship with Ness hadn't progressed to the point where he could date her and _do things_ with her yet, I wasn't sure if that might not actually be better than having him blue balled over her all the time.

"_Zip it, Le," _Jacob retorted, bounding into the small clearing and coming to a halt as we all fell in a circle around him. I pushed my way to his right shoulder where I belonged, the wolf in me demanding its position despite the informality of this meeting.

When I finally decided to focus and pay attention, I caught the end of Embry's train of thought before he focused on Jake as well. He was thinking about a recent conversation with his mother, but something about it wasn't natural. The train of thought seemed forced. He glowered at me from across the circle as he caught my mind prying into his and promptly returned his gaze to Jacob. _Whatever._

"_Now listen guys, this doesn't have to be a big deal. I just have to pass along something the Cullens informed me of yesterday,"_ Jacob began. _"Their uh…relatives, the Alaskan leeches, are coming down to visit in a few days. The leeches know to stay away from our land, but Edward just thought we should be aware of their presence. We don't know them like we know the Cullens, and I don't trust them even if they are vegetarians or whatever."_

"_I don't trust _any _leeches, Cullens included,"_ I snorted.

"_Le!"_ Jacob turned to look at me, exasperated. _"Do you mind?" _he huffed, turning back to the rest of the pack. _"It's really no biggie, not like they haven't been here once or twice before. But still. I think it's in our best interests if we pushed our patrols out a little further while they're here. No need to go on Cullen property, just check the surrounding areas. As a precaution." _

Seth, Embry, and Quil all grunted their assent, but I narrowed my eyes at Jacob as I instinctively felt that he wasn't telling us everything.

Jacob's mental attitude turned sheepish even as he sat up a little straighter. _"Uhh, well yea, you're right, Le…there is a little something more…"_

"_What now?"_ I huffed out impatiently.

"_Ok, you guys know how Nessie technically turned five back in September but she's obviously somewhere in her mid-teens…well, Carlisle figures that developmentally she's probably around sixteen by now, so…the Cullens are throwing her a little birthday party for that, even though it's not really her birthday…"_ Jacob's mental speech trailed off as his mind was taken over by images of the Cullen house decorated for a party, Nessie all dressed up and prancing about…and _all of us there to celebrate with her._

"_Oh no, oh HELL no!"_ I growled out, leaping to all fours and backing up.

"_Come on, Le,"_ Jacob wheedled in his most persuasive tone, turning around and following me. _"It's nothing big, they just want her closest friends and family around to make the day special for her. And Ness loves you guys, you know that."_

"_Well I'm going!"_ Seth piped up. _"I already knew about this. Nessie invited me herself, and Mom and I got her a present."_

I glared at Seth, shaking my head as I turned back to Jacob. _"I'm not going to any damned leech party! End of story!"_ I spat.

"_Guys?"_ Jacob asked, turning to Embry and Quil hopefully.

"_Sure, why not,"_ Embry shrugged his shoulders while Quil's ears perked up.

"_Yea I was planning on going anyway. Nessie invited Claire since they were old playmates, and I'm not letting my Clairebear go there alone," _Quil stated seriously.

"_Thanks a lot guys, you're all really helpful,"_ I sneered as I shook my head firmly, groaning as Jake turned back to me. _"No Jake. Don't even ask again. No."_

"_Please, Leah?" _Jacob asked with a low whine. _"Ness was complaining the other day that she hasn't seen you in weeks. It would make her really happy if you came."_

"_Yea well the Princess's happiness may be your priority, Jake, but it isn't mine,"_ I shot back, trying not to let my resolve weaken. I didn't understand why the hell the little monster was so fond of me, but she was. And even I couldn't deny that she was hard to resist. It was almost impossible to dislike her.

A smirk pulled up the corners of Jacob's muzzle as he responded, _"See. You like her, I know you do. Come on, Lele,"_ Jacob stalked over to me and nudged the side of my face with his nose. _"Don't make me use the Alpha command on you," _he teased as he head butted my shoulder.

"_Ugh, FINE!" _I growled out as I nipped and Jake's head. _"I'll go, but only because Seth and Mom are,"_ I said as I tried to ignore the triumphant, wolfy grin on Jacob's face and Seth's laughter in the background.

"_Are we done here?"_ Embry cut in. _"I'd really like to just get on with my patrol,"_ he added as he got to his feet and turned away, seeming bothered and uncharacteristically impatient.

"_Yea bro, we're done. Go ahead," _Jake nodded his big reddish head at Embry.

"_Thanks,"_ Embry thought sarcastically before loping off into the trees, starting to run once he got onto a patrol circuit.

I stared after him, wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. He was not himself at all today. But then, thinking back, he'd been acting a little odd every so often for awhile now. Embry was usually good natured and cheerful. Definitely had the capacity to be serious and quiet, even sullen on rare occasion. But his moods never changed that fast. He was never _nasty_ like that. It was really weird.

"_Thanks so much for that analysis of my personality, Lele, really appreciate it,"_ he thought towards me dryly as he continued his run.

Annoyed at having been caught dwelling on his behavior, I shot back, _"Fuck you, Call!"_

Embry's mind disappeared before I could blink an eye. _What the hell?_

I turned to stare at Jake, Seth, and Quil, who were all staring back at me just as blankly. Suddenly Jake tensed up, and we could tell he'd clamped down on his mind before fixating it on Nessie and the upcoming party.

"_Well what the fuck was all that?"_ I asked, concentrating on Jake. _"He's supposed to be patrolling, not phasing because I cursed at him," _I snorted.

"_Never mind, Le. Just…all of you go phase back and go home, or whatever. I'll deal with him,"_ Jake thought authoritatively, swiftly trotting off in the direction Embry just left.

"_Jake, what…"_ I pushed, hating being confused or out of the loop about anything.

"_GO, Leah. Don't argue with me,"_ Jake returned with a growl.

"_Fine,"_ I huffed grudgingly, turning to Seth and Quil. _"Come on guys, we're being given _orders_," _I rolled my eyes as I slipped off into the forest to change the opposite direction that Seth and Quil went.

"_Dude, you wanna come over to Claire's with me? Her mom is a fucking awesome cook and she's making dinner tonight!" _Quil's enthusiastic invitation to Seth and Seth's equally enthusiastic answer bounced through one ear and out the other as I tried to focus on Jake's thoughts, giving up as they betrayed nothing.

Finding a place with adequate cover, I pulled myself together, phasing back to human form and quickly dressing myself. I took my time making my way back home, hungry though I was. I had a feeling I was going to be alone tonight, and when I finally made it back to the house I found that I was right. Sue had left a note saying that upon hearing from Seth that he wasn't eating at home, she'd decided to take her meal over to Billy's. She'd left some in the fridge for me but encouraged me to come and join her and Billy if I felt like it.

I didn't feel like it. I didn't know what I felt like. Bored. Lonely. Bitter. Apathetic. I supposed those terms could apply, but they couldn't quite cover it. I was hungry, and not just physically. I was hungry for something I didn't even want to try to define. My life had become so stale. I might as well have been as frozen as the leeches I hated so much.

Dragging my feet as I roamed around the house aimlessly, I finally decided that I wasn't just going to sit around the house the whole night. Moving into my bedroom, I changed out of my cutoffs and old tshirt into a pair of white shorts and a purple tank top. I brushed my near-shoulder length hair out quickly, sighing as I realized I'd have to at least trim it soon or deal with ridiculously obnoxious fur.

I picked up my keys and wallet and slipped into a pair of white flip flops on my way out the front door, locking it behind me before heading into my car. I pressed the gas pedal a bit harder than I should have as I drove the winding highway into Forks, my stomach demanding food and everything else in me demanding a few good drinks.

Pulling into the small lot in front of the diner, I sighed at sat silently behind the steering wheel for a moment before getting out of the car. The little town was so depressing. Finally forcing myself to get out of the car, I walked into the diner and took a seat in a back corner. The place was busy enough for a weeknight. I didn't realize why I was being given funny looks until I noticed an older man come in with a heavy jacket on. _Shit._ I was so used to running around the rez wearing as little as possible for phasing convenience that I'd forgotten how to dress properly for the season to go out in public.

"Get you something to drink, ma'am?" the waitress asked with a friendly smile as she approached my table.

"Water's fine," I replied without really looking at her.

"Be right out with that," she said as she handed me a menu.

When she came back with my water and took my order, she squinted her eyes at me as if she was trying to figure something out. I handed her back the menu and stared straight ahead, hoping she'd just leave.

"You're not the Clearwater girl, are you?" she suddenly asked, looking like a light bulb had gone off in her head as she stacked my menu on top of others in her arm.

I blinked up at her, slightly annoyed. "Yea, I am. Why?" I asked, not caring at how impolite I might sound.

"Ohhh I thought so!" she exclaimed, her pleasant face smiling so widely it looked like it would hurt. "Your father used to come in here frequently with Officer Swan. Such nice men, both of them…" she said as her face turned sympathetic. "It's been a few years now, hasn't it sweetie?" she asked with a shake of her head. _Sweetie?_ _What the fuck. _

"Yea. Six," I ground out, turning to look at the far wall again.

"Well, I'm so sorry dear," she said, sounding just that. Sorry. Sickeningly so. "I hope you're family is doing alright," she added, laying a hand on my arm as she tried to get me to look at her. I clenched my fists under the table. _Don't fucking touch me! _

"We're _fine_, _thanks_," I finally turned to look at her, hoping she would get the point that I didn't want to be bothered.

"Ok honey," she said, removing her had from my arm and frowning slightly. "You're awfully warm, you know. Feeling alright? You really aren't dressed properly for this kind of weather, dear. I hope you're not coming down with something…" she trailed off, looking at me with concern.

I'd quickly tired of her overly-friendly concern and sympathy and fucking pity. "I'm fine. Just hungry. Do you mind?" I asked icily, directing my gaze significantly towards the kitchen.

"Oh. Right. Of course, sweetheart," she smiled again. "We'll have your dinner out in no time," she said cheerily as she headed off towards the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief. _How much more annoying can you get?_

When my food finally came out, I ate as quickly as possible, wanting to escape the feeling of being watched even though I knew no one was really looking at me anymore. I opened my slim wallet and paid my bill, grudgingly leaving a decent tip. I hated spending money on anything, especially since I hadn't had a steady job since my senior year of high school. The whole wolf thing made it really hard to hold down a job.

Holding my head high as I made my way back into the cold drizzle, I walked a block down the street to the only bar in Forks. I immediately felt self conscious as I walked through the door, as the only other women in the room were a few biker chicks who were covered in leather and hanging on the tattooed arms of their men. _Great._

Feeling my muscles tense and my head starting to pound, I walked to the bar and asked for a shot of tequila. The bartender lifted a brow as he took in my appearance but quickly fulfilled my request. Tipping my head back, I downed the shot immediately, regretting that I would have to limit myself tonight if I intended to drive home. Still, I could easily have at least a few with no effects. A smirk pulled at the corners of my lips as I contemplated the benefits of my heightened body temperature and metabolism.

"Buy ya a drink, honey?" a deep, raspy voice to my left grated on my ears. Turning slightly on my bar stool, I took in the grinning, unshaven face of a tall, burly logger.

"Buzz off," I snapped, grimacing at the sight of his bleary eyes and smell of the alcohol coupled with his rank breath before turning my back to him and ordering another shot.

"Aww come on, let a fella be friendly, won'tcha?" he guffawed as he scooted closer to me.

I glanced at his greasy, graying hair and roaming, bloodshot eyes with revulsion. "Friendly my ass," I snorted. "Leave me the hell alone."

"And what a nice ass it is, honey," he drawled, leaning back in his seat and blatantly checking me out.

I turned to glare at him just as I saw his hand reaching behind me and felt a pinch. If it were possible, my temperature heightened further as fury burst through me. I clenched my fists on the bar and squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to stop the trembling that took over my body before I phased on the spot and ripped his fucking head off.

"_You dirty bastard,_" I seethed as I slowly turned around in my seat to face him. The fool had the nerve to laugh at me, loud and obnoxious, calling the attention of every person in the room.

Without another second of hesitation, I pulled my arm back and then shot it forward, smashing my fist into his face.

A few gasps echoed through the room, mingled with some deep laughter as the man almost fell over backwards before catching himself and getting to his feet. He shook his head and lifted a hand to wipe the blood pouring from his lip as his eyes widened with sudden anger.

"Why you little…!" he growled out as he reached out and grabbed me by my arms, pulling me off of my stool. "You think you all high and mighty? Too good fer me?" his voice rose as he shook me, and I was vaguely aware of the bartender and other men starting to yell as I closed my eyes again, fighting the urge to phase with everything I had in me.

"_Get. Your. Fucking. Hands. Off. Me!"_ I spat, opening my eyes to find him leering down at me as he squeezed my arms tighter.

"You think we don't know you're just a lonely Injun girl comin' down here from the rez, dressed like that jest to get attention?" he sneered, giving me another shake.

I had had enough, and I finally felt enough in control of myself to keep from exploding. Just as several men jumped out of their chairs and rushed over to intervene, I brought my knee up hard into the man's groin, stepping back as he let go of me and doubled over in pain. As streams of curses flowed from his mouth, I reached down and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up high enough for my fist to make contact with his face once more before I placed my foot to his chest and shoved hard. The men who had rushed over to stop his assault on me jumped back as the huge logger flew backwards and slammed into a table, rolling to his side and falling to the ground as the table creaked under the weight of his drunken ass.

My breathing was heavy as I pushed the hair out of my face and tried to get the shaking of my body to stop completely, glancing at the stunned faces surrounding me. The silence was deafening, broken only by the pained groans of the man after he had lain on the floor in shock for a few moments.

"You alright?" a voice I couldn't focus on asked. I merely nodded, rubbing at the fading red marks on my arms and lifting my chin.

Finally the man on the floor stirred, lifting up on his elbows and glaring up at me as he spit blood out on the floor. "You're gonna pay fer this," he snarled up at me. "I'm gonna press charges!"

"Go ahead and press charges," I answered as I looked down at him with disgust. "I'll just press charges for sexual harassment and assault then. There are enough witnesses here who saw exactly what happened."

I glanced around the room again, noticing for the first time that while most of the faces held concern, there was also a fair amount of shock and confusion. It didn't hit me until then that what I had just done was not normal. No woman should have been able to take down a drunken, angry man of that size. Rubbing my hand on the back of my neck, I turned towards the bar to see the bartender staring at me with an open phone in his hand.

"Boys, get your _friend_ out of here. Now," he demanded of the group of men the logger had been sitting with. "I won't have trouble in this establishment," he announced loudly as he glanced around the room. Slowly turning back to me, he lowered his voice. "I think you should leave, ma'am…" he said as he indicated the door.

"I haven't paid for my drinks," I said, pressing my lips into a tight line.

"No need, just, please…" he trailed off, glancing towards the door again.

Turning on my heels, I marched straight out of the bar, trying to ignore the stares that followed me as I left. I took my time heading back towards the diner where my car was parked, the light rain that had started feeling good against my heated skin. I tried to make sense out of what had just happened, but I couldn't. It was senseless. I'd just walked into a bar and gotten myself into trouble simply because I was plagued with boredom. And a really bad temper.

As I neared the diner, I heard a car pull up beside me and a throat clearing as a window was rolled down. I stopped in my tracks and turned to see the Fork's Chief of Police cruiser right next to me and Charlie's stern face as he reached over to unlock the passenger side door. _Shit._

"In the car, Leah," his familiar voice rang out in a "no nonsense" tone as he sat back in the driver's seat and waited.

"Charlie," I started as I approached the car and bent down to look at him through the window.

"In the car," he repeated, nodding towards the door.

"You arresting me, Charlie?" I snorted sarcastically as I stubbornly stayed in place.

"Don't make this difficult, Leah," he sighed as he rubbed his hand over his face. "No I'm not arresting you, but I did just get a call from that bartender back there…we need to talk. Get in."

"Look, I was just defending myself Charlie. I did nothing wrong," I insisted as I stood my ground.

"I know that," he said in exasperation, "but you _were_ just drinking. I'm not letting you get in your car and driving home, and I still want to talk to you."

Groaning internally as I knew there was no way I could convince him of the truth that a shot or two would not affect me in the slightest, I finally gave in and hopped into the passenger seat, staring straight ahead as I shut the door behind me.

"The deputy and I will bring your car to you tomorrow," he said as he held out a hand for my keys. I grudgingly pulled them from my pocket and slapped them into his hand.

"Now," he started, looking intently at my face, "Do you want to press charges against that man, Leah?"

"No," I answered sullenly. "Not unless he's stupid enough to press charges against me."

"Alright," Charlie said slowly, his mustache twitching. "I heard the whole story from the bartender, Leah. We're keeping that man in a cell overnight until he sobers up," he nodded, "but would you like to tell me what you were doing alone in a bar down here tonight?"

"Not particularly," I retorted, refusing to look at him.

Charlie sighed heavily and was silent for a moment, drawing in a long breath before he spoke again. "Look, Leah…" he began awkwardly, "I'm worried about you, alright? And…whether you know it or not, your mother is extremely worried about you. Your father was a very dear friend of mine, and your mother _is_ a very dear friend of mine…"

"I don't need to hear this, Charlie! Not from you," I cut him off, balling my hands up as a lump formed in my throat. "I don't need any sort of fatherly intervention," I lowered my voice, anger lacing my tone. "Just…don't go there. No."

"I'm not…that's not what I'm trying to do, Leah," Charlie answered in a softer voice, his fingers drumming the steering wheel as he looked away from me. "I just want you to think about your actions, think about how they are affecting your own life and the lives of your mother and brother. Our families have been friends for a long time, and…"

"Who are you to tell me how to live my life, Charlie?" I cut him off again, my voice rising as his words hit home. I crossed my arms defensively over my chest before continuing. "Hell, _your_ daughter ran off and got herself married and knocked up at eighteen, so I don't think you have any place telling me what to do and what not to do," I retorted scathingly, trying to ignore the guilt that stabbed at me as Charlie visibly flinched.

"Ok, um, ow," he stated dryly as he held up a hand, trying to make light of it. Shaking his head, he turned the key in the ignition and put the car in drive before placing both hands on the steering wheel again. "Let's just…get you home."

The short drive back to La Push was incredibly awkward. I felt awful for the way I'd just treated Charlie, but I didn't want to apologize. Everything I'd said was true, but he was a good guy. He really didn't deserve to be treated like that just for trying to help.

I got out of the car as soon as Charlie pulled up at my house, but I stopped and leaned down again before I shut the door.

"Charlie?" I questioned tentatively, chewing on my lower lip. "I'm…well, I'm sorry, for that shit I said. And uh…thanks."

Charlie smiled just a little and shook his head. "Don't worry about it. Try to stay out of trouble now, hm?"

"Yea, you got it Chief," I answered wryly as I shut the car door and walked up the steps to the front door. I waved once as Charlie drove away then headed inside.

Sue was sitting on the couch in her robe with a cup of steaming tea in hand, and she offered me a warm smile as I walked in the door.

"Where were you sweetheart?" she questioned nonchalantly as she turned down the volume on the tv.

"Uh, just in Forks. I…decided to eat dinner there," I shrugged, quickly walking into my bedroom to avoid having to give any more details. After changing out of my damp clothes and putting on pajama pants and a dry tank top, I brushed my teeth and then joined Sue out on the living room couch.

"You went all by yourself?" Sue questioned with a furrowed brow when I returned, setting her mug on the coffee table and shutting off the tv.

"Yea," I answered slowly. "Just…wanted to be alone for a bit," I said, hoping she would just accept that and move on as she patted her lap. I smiled a little as I sat down next to her and then leaned back, resting my head on her lap and closing my eyes as she began to run her fingers through the tangles in my hair and massage my scalp.

"You're alone quite often, baby," Sue commented quietly, increasing the pressure of her fingers on my head before releasing them to run through the short length of my hair.

"Mmm…" I mumbled, growing sleepy at her comforting touch. I opened my eyes as a question suddenly burned itself into my mind. "Mom, I ran into Charlie when I was in town and he gave me a ride home…just cuz…and it just started me thinking…"

"Thinking about what, sweetie?" Sue softly questioned as my eyes closed again and I trailed off.

"Do you think…do you think you'll ever love again?" I asked tentatively. The question hung heavily in the air for a few moments before Sue took a deep breath and responded.

"Perhaps. Someday, in the future. Why do you ask?"

I shrugged a little. "I don't know. Was just wondering. Has Charlie ever...? Well like, asked you out, or…kissed you or…anything?" I mumbled. "Feel free to tell me to shut the hell up if you don't want to say, but…well it's obvious how close you two have become over the past several years."

Sue merely chuckled a little. "I'd never tell you to shut the hell up, dear. And I suppose you do have a right to know. No, Charlie has never 'kissed me or anything'…but he did ask me out. Once. About three years ago. It was too soon, and I told him so," she answered with blunt sincerity.

"And…?" I pressed.

"Aaaand nothing. He agreed to remain friends and wait to see what the future might hold. I think he knew it was too soon as anyway. He won't admit it, but I think the reason he jumped the gun and asked me completely out of nowhere was because Renee was coming to visit Bella and Nessie with Phil," she chuckled lightly again.

I rolled my eyes at that, feeling my body relax completely and the tension in my muscles ebb as Sue massaged my shoulders.

"Anyways, sweetheart…much as I still miss your father every moment of every day…I do believe there is room in my heart to love again. And," she lowered her voice and continued hesitantly, "I also believe that you will love again someday."

My back stiffened and my eyes snapped open again at that comment. Keeping my eyes trained on my feet, I laughed a little hoarsely before responding. "Well that's great Mom, but I don't. I have nothing left to love that way with," I said in a near whisper, bitterness tainting every word.

"That isn't so," Sue argued gently. "One day you will meet the right one, if you haven't already…and things will change."

"If I haven't already?" I snorted softly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that…the right one could be somewhere, or someone, that you'd least expect," Sue responded, and I intuitively felt in my gut that she had more to say, just like I'd felt with Jacob earlier in the evening. If my feeling weren't enough, the look on her face when I finally brought my eyes upwards confirmed it.

"What, Mom?" I asked. "There's something else you want to say…so out with it."

Sue shrugged slightly, not looking me in the eye. "I probably shouldn't be saying this, it really isn't my place," she hesitated before dropping her chin and looking me in the eye. "But honestly dear, I'm surprised that nothing has developed…between you and Embry," she finished, looking almost sheepish. _Me and _Embry_? What?_

I sat straight up, pushing my hair away from my face and looking at Sue's face, not believing she could be serious. "Me and _Embry_, Mom? What the hell are you talking about? Embry and I have known each other since we were kids! There's nothing like that between us!" I protested, my mind whirling at her outrageous suggestion.

"Sweetheart, you obviously haven't noticed the way he looks at you. The first time I ever noticed it was at Sam and Emily's wedding," she lifted a brow slightly as she went on, "but you were too much under the influence to have noticed then, of course.

I simply stared at her in slack-jawed, shocked silence.

"You don't have to believe me, baby," Sue went on with a shrug when I didn't respond, "But…well, mothers notice these kinds of things."

I sank back into the cushions, rubbing my temples as I shook my head. "Nuh uh, that's just. No, it can't be. I seriously think you're mistaken, Mom," I paused to yawn, "But either way, I need to sleep."

"Alright," Sue said, reaching over and pulling me into a hug before kissing the top of my head. "Rest well, sweetheart."

I squeezed her tightly and returned her goodnight before shuffling off to my bedroom, my mind in a daze. I couldn't get my mind off what she had just said about Embry. _Could that be true? _

I couldn't even determine if I thought it was a possibility, much less how I felt about that. But I had to give her theory one thing…it could certainly explain Embry's odd behavior of late. _What the fuck. No, this is fucking ridiculous._ I willed my mind to shut off, but I could not keep it from spinning in circles around the events of the day, Charlie's words to me in the car about my behavior, and Sue's insane ideas about me and Embry. Eventually, I stopped trying to fall asleep naturally and took a few of my sleeping pills to knock myself out.

The pills worked, but that night even my sleep was filled with dreams and warped visions of bar fights and lectures and a familiar gray wolf and a boy with the most beautiful brown eyes you could ever hope to gaze into.


End file.
